Let me begin by saying how much I enjoy writing wine reviews while actually consuming the beverage in question. Yeah, so my typing skills go south rather fast, but it makes for a much more entertaining evening.
Quit bogarting the box! the Generalissimo said. Well, maybe he slurred it just a bit. Wed been going at it for a few hours.
Kiss my ass! I said.
Thats the spirit! He slapped me on the back, hard enough to knock the box of Hardys 2008 Riesling out of my hands.
Im a big fan of the Riesling. Its sweet. Its nice when chilled, and equally so when not. No one hates Riesling, making it an ideal wine to bring to someones house. But mainly, its a pleasant drink before, during, and after dinner. Cant say that about most other wines. Well, except for the fortified ones, but those dont really count, and they dont go all that well with paella. Riesling? Lovely with paella.
Tell them about the wine!
I am. Im not. My bad.
Its yellow. Its slightly sweet, but not like a desert wine, or even an off-dry Riesling. Its not too tart, not too pungent, and it doesnt leave my esophagus reaching for the Tums. Its not the most flavorful wine Ive ever had, but its got alcohol in it. And really, whats more important than that?
Tell them about the wine!
I did!
Did not!
Did too!
Vive a France!
What he said. The box says that it is, A refreshing, crisp wine with intense lime and lemon flavor and a soft lingering finish.
Sure. And Im the Queen of Norway. The only lemon or lime I tasted came from the Jell-o we had for dinner. The fact is, its not going to win any awards for complexity or its subtle nose of citrusy goodness or its palate of mooseberries. Its simple, its easy to dink, and its cheap when you think about how many normal bottles are in that Mylar pouch.
Drink it. Dont drink it. I dont care. Now leave me alone. The Generalissimo is trying to get Zak the intern to join him in a spirited game of Twister.
Put your pants back on you crazy bastard! I yelled. Ah, screw it. Wheres that box of wine?