I am the Generalissimo!

This was my first foray into the exciting world of boxed wine, and the Generalissimo insisted we start off with something simple: a 2007 Bota Box Pinot Grigio.

Thank God.

My wine palate is a lot like my finger painting palate: minimal, trending toward the mundane, with an odd fascination toward anything showcasing shiny colors and smelling faintly of vanilla.

The Pinot Grigio was fine. It smelled like wine, tasted like wine, and didn’t burn my throat on the way down. The box said it “has rich aromas of tropical fruit and citrus which perfectly complement its light, crisp flavors of pears and peaches.” Um, okay. All I tasted was a slightly sweet wine with undercurrents of mediocrity and a light dusting of alcohol.

“It has the nose of a much younger woman, with extracts of nutmeg and allspice!” The Generalissimo sniffed his glass like he knew what he was doing.

“Nutmeg?”

“I certainly hope so!”

“And the taste?” I asked.

“Tastes great! Less filling!”

“I meant—”

“I can taste the ocean! And the subtle aroma of misplaced keys, interrupted by an incandescent effervescence of intransigence!”

“Huh?”

“I like it!”

“Effervescence of intransigence?”

“Indubitably! I give it six mustaches!”

“Out of?”

“Out of petty cash!” He drained his glass and went searching for the box. Again.

I’ll give it a:

B

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at 04:57 and is filed under boxed wine. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.