Albertson’s cheese croissant

albertsons-cheese-thingy.jpg“This is not a cheese Danish!” the Generalissimo said. “You promised me cheese Danish! I salute your deception!”

He saluted.

It wasn’t much of a deception. When I went to Albertson’s, I bought two things that looked like cheese Danishes, only one of them turned out to be a cheese croissant. No big whoop. We’d try it, and if he liked it, then all was right with the world. Except, I made the mistake of trying it first.

“You look ill, young Thurman! Am I correct in assuming this fine looking pastry is less than it appears?!”

“Indubitably.”

He had no idea. The bread was dry. Dry croissants aren’t usually bad, but they’re at least tasty in a buttery goodness sort of way. This wasn’t. The frosting was pretty good, but also dry. And don’t get me started on the filling. It had the consistency of dog vomit, and I’m guessing didn’t taste much better. I certainly didn’t enjoy it.

“Where is the cheese Danish you promised?!”

“Wait here. I’ll see if I can find one.”

If you see this pastry at the store, do yourself a favor: keep walking.

C

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