Archive for the ‘Other manufacturer’ Category

Rangifer Santacus

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

Santa’s reindeer are thought to be a subspecies of the genus Rangifer. How and why this particular subset became genetically different from their free-range cousins is the focus of many scholarly tomes. What is known is that, imbued with magical powers involving flight (and in rare cases, a nose capable of bio-luminescence), they have found a safe haven with an enigmatic fat man who lives in an undisclosed location in the north. That he’s poker buddies with the Generalissimo comes as no surprise to anyone.

According to Wikipedia, the domestic reindeer, commonly seen in Scandinavia, Russia, and Iceland, are known to eat moss, leaves, and grasses, but from time to time are capable of digesting lemmings, eggs, and mushrooms. Females range from 130-370 pounds, and males from 220-700. At a height of nearly six feet (and in some cases more), reindeer have been domesticated for centuries, yielding milk, meat, and hides for clothing. Some have even been used for transportation, though Santa’s herd seems to be one of the few bred specifically for this purpose.

Santa’s current herd is descended from a group of eight reindeer found left on his doorstep in 1823. They spend most of their year in the lap of luxury, dining on fine baked goods and imported tequila. Santa lent us two of his more reliable off-season mounts, a sixty-year-old female named Montezuma’s Revenge and a much older bull named Rudy.